we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We got so high we made milksteak
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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