she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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