Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
