the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
