So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
ttyl tear gas
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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