yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
her vagine was all disorganized.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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