My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
