you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well I just put wine in my tea
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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