4 words: hood of his car
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
