your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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