Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
