I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
