I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
