We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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