Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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