Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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