dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think my vagina is haunted
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
