They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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