I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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