my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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