so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
