I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
