im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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