marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
