covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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