I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
