whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize