I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
