You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
