Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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