How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am available for nakedness
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
