Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
