covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
