whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
