Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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