oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
