I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
