do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize