She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
