is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize