Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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