So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
