yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were trust falling into bushes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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