Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
