thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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