benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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