My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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