The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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