I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
