there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
