he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
