i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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