so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
