# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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