How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
