NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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