In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
