Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
