ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
