sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She's the barista slut.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
