I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
