I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Randomize
