i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
