I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
