Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
