I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize