Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
