Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
