You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
