ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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