i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
