I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize