oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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